I always look for answers and guidance. One of the driving questions as to why we do this is one I always shrugged off as “Because it’s there”. This article is inspired by Will Becher (who gave me the title without knowing it) and Roger Jones (who’s last Email set my thoughts in motion) and lastly a movie from the 80’s called “The Art of Killing”. Which, despite its title, is an excellent documentary on modern Japanese Budo; Specifically Kendo, Karatedo, Aikido and Judo.

As long as I can remember, I never had a “bad” day of practice. Sure there were some that felt better than others. Or times during practice I felt like,”Maybe I should have stayed home on the couch”. But afterwards I ALWAYS knew I was better off than when I began. No matter how bad my performance, no matter if I couldn’t put 2 and 2 together- I never felt that it was a waster of time. This is kind of remarkable when you consider the amount of time we waste doing a lot of other things.

I’ve wasted time at work, driving, watching T.V., waiting on line, doing work around the house (meaning, doing tasks that later proved a waste of time- just in case my wife reads this). But there are 3 places I never waste time: With my family, with my friends and on the mat.

That’s pretty remarkable when you think about it. Think about this, since the age of 7 I have been someplace 3 to 6 times a week. There was a period of about 8 total months I didn’t do anything, so will round it up to 12 months and round the amount of times down to 2 times per week for 30 years. 2 times per week for a year comes to 104 practices per year. 104 practices X 30 years = 3,120 practices or work outs. And that’s on the low side; it’s probably more like 5,000.

Out of the thousands of times I have been thrown, hit, choked and ran, lifted, sprinted up stairs across fields, on roads in the wood, out of all those time I NEVER felt worse off than when I started (even when I got hurt or injured).

People ask you why you train. People think you are CRAZY for taking the bumps, bruises, injury, making weight or giving up a week end or a few evenings.

So why do you do it? Why do you leave home to go to the dojo?

Did you ever notice that after a class you feel a little bit better? Or after a particularly hard work out, you felt exhilarated? And when you go home, things look a little brighter. Problems don’t seem so grave. Life is just a little better.

It’s through denial or absence that we truly appreciate what matters most. When I’m away from my family or friends, it only makes me appreciate them that much more. Now, I’m not saying join the Peace Corps but, simply put, food tastes better when you’re hungry.

A little denial, a little bit of taking the road less traveled will pay off exponentially in your personal life.

So what makes this type of training so special? Unlike mountain biking or marathon running, which can be extremely difficult and trying, bushido forces you to look at your own mortality. We train a lot on matters of violence. But we are not focused on the act of killing but rather than living. We focus on survival and protecting our loved ones. We focus on our love of life and the need to protect one another, not the destruction. By examining death, you discover life.

The Samurai had to come to terms with the fact, that at any moment, their lives would be over. They knew that life is not permanent and things can not be taken for granted. Since they believed life was short and at any moment it would end; they developed an appreciation of nature and beauty. Every breath, every moment was not to be wasted.

Denial makes you appreciate the things you take for granted just a little bit more. Making weight, let’s you appreciate infinite dining choices a little more. Traveling away from home makes you appreciate being there a little bit more. Going to train a few days a week, makes you appreciate your time off just a little more meaningful.

I used to think that some day I would get over this. And at one time, I actually tried to stop. But, it didn’t last. I couldn’t stand myself and the way I acted. I was more self absorbed, less patient and less understanding.

The thing each of you has to discover for themselves is how do I achieve balance? This is a personal journey that you all have to work on and it’s constantly changing and shifting. Some days you can do more than others, so you must take advantage of it “Carpe Diem” or “seize the day!” If you seize the day with your training, this will allow you to “Seize the day” with your family, friends and work.

It’s like, you have a wolf inside you and that wolf needs food. And every time you train, every time you practice, you feed the wolf. And when the wolf eats, it sleeps. If the wolf is fed, it’s happy.

But when the wolf isn’t fed, it gets up and starts pacing. The hungrier it gets, the more it paces. It paces and paces until it starts coming closer to the door. With every moment it’s not fed, it gets bolder and more desperate. And so do your actions. You get angry easier, more irritated, less understanding, more combative.

I never have a bad day of practice because after every practice I know it makes me a little more understanding, a little more patient, a little better husband, father and friend.